A SECOND OPINION.

Today is my last day at work before officially going on a medical leave of absence. To be honest, I am relieved beyond words. I am relieved to not have to navigate airports and lift luggage and deal with client visits right now. I am relieved to not be limping around the office hallways with people thinking whatever it is they are thinking bout me. I am relieved to not have to focus on solving crises and interact with uncooperative colleagues while hopped up on pain medication. I am relieved to not have to go through my morning routine of getting showered and getting dressed, which leaves me exhausted before I even get into my car. I am relieved that I do not have to squish into work clothes like a sausage in its casing - the last few months of physical inactivity have left me with a good extra 15 pounds on my frame.

The outcome of the diagnostic procedure mentioned in the last post was interesting. For the first time in a long time, I hardly had any pain, but the procedure itself was extremely painful. I have had several lumbar epidurals over the years that were performed under sedation; I was completely unaware of what was going on and didn't feel anything other than some tenderness after the procedure.

With this particular procedure, the doctor needs you to be awake to comment on any pain you feel. Let me tell you - it hurts. I had ten injections of anesthetic between the vertebrae , all of which I could feel. Afterwards, the doctor advised I treat this as a "test drive" of what to expect with a spine fusion. He asked that I do something physical within the next six hours that I would not normally be able to do.

Bolted Bionic Husband took me to the mall and we walked around, something I would not have been able to do on a normal day, and interestingly enough, I only felt pain in my thoracic area (the upper back) but none in my lumbar. However, when the anethetic wore off, it really wore off: I was in tremendous pain. The doctors request that patients stop taking pain medication one to two days before this diagnostic procedure so that the outcome is more realistic of your actual pain level. And as many of you trying to manage chronic pain know - it is all about being ahead and in front of the pain with your medications. In addition, there were so many injection sites that when I showered for the next three days after the procedure, the injection sites would burn and sting.

My doctor called the next day and asked for my report. I told him that I had less pain than I had had in years. And during my next appointment he advised that I seriously consider a spinal fusion.

The next step is the second opinion which I decided to get at the University of Utah Orthopedic Center. My father is a physician and believes that the University of Utah Medical Center is a Medical Heaven on Earth. His physician referred me to Dr. X, who is considered an expert in spinal conditions. If he tells me I need to do more stretches or yoga or Pilates, I think I will truly lose my composure right in his office. There is nothing that I can physically do, not enough downward dogs or sun salutations, not enough consumption of green leafy vegetables or supplements or acupuncture or aromatherapy that I can do to make this better. But something tells me that once he sees those two discs that barely exist anymore, he'll at least have something to say.